Venting... I know its horrible!

Okay.

I know everyone has there moments and just need to rethink things for a minute, but why does it have to happen so fast. I mean yesterday I was fine. There are always set back each day that we all have each day (big or small), and we just have to learn to deal with them or try to overcome it. Well, today is the day where I just need to vent.
With life there are blessings, consequences, trials and happy times. This is what makes the world go round. But there has to be a way of curing the "blues" so to speak. I love being a wife and a mom. There's no buts about it. I guess having a baby this young does take its toll sometimes.
You go from only thinking about yourself and how you look or what your plans are day after day, trying to keep you life as busy and exciting as possible. Then Surprise! Honeymoon baby! I guess i have myself to blame for it because I was so naive about the whole birth control thing, and having my parents tell me to get on birth control like a month after getting married. Seems backwards doesn't it. I'm the first kid, I guess they forgot that little detail. I'm not blaming them though, don't get me wrong. I guess I'm just saying that everything was just a little rushed.
Jack is now nineteen months old and I don't know what I would do without him. I love him so much. I just wish I was ready for him. Sometimes I get so frustrated with the crying for no reason, or hitting and throwing everything just to see if he can get a reaction out of me. Hurting the poor dog to where she doesn't like to go around him any more. Lots of little things I suppose, but it adds up day after day. I just wish i was ready and more able to cope with the things that I'm faced with. I feel so bad when I feel like I'm blaming him for making me crazy that day. Its not his fault, he doesn't know any better.
Okay married women... For another stupid reason, Justin and I had an argument last night about money. Yes, yes I know money is a big issue. Where, how, why? All the questions come up when large amounts of money are planned on being spent. (These issues weren't the kind that you could just return the next day.) Any way, while we were arguing I just figured out why all the arguing happened. Not only with this topic, but with all topics we argued about. I don't quite know how to explain it, but its basically the exact opposite way you think an argument should be made. His way is talking, me not saying ANYTHING, and just listening till he's finished, then I say whatever I want. My way is... He starts talking then I get the gist of what hes saying, try to say a remark or correct something he may have said different than Ithought he said earlier.. yada yada yada... What I'm trying to say is that I just realized that the reason we have the fights in the first place, aren't because of what we are arguing about, its how we are arguing.
So.. next time you have a disagreement with your spouse, try to see if that's the reason it all happens. I figured it out with us, now its only a matter of breaking habits and trying to cope and create new ones. See! sometimes something good comes from something not so good.
I know God doesn't give you something he knows you can't handle. I know that somewhere inside me, I am able to move past this and care and love and teach Jack with all my heart and with compassion and patience.
That may not make any sense, but that's how it came out. My feelings and thoughts have not been able to work together for a while.
I guess the reason why I wrote this is to get some advice or tips or even thoughts about these topics. It helps when you know your not the only one who feels like there a bad mom or wife sometimes.

Thanks again for listening. See you next break down...

Starting A Job... (well sort of)

This is a job, a hobby, and a LIFE SAVER!

I have clipped coupons before and saved a little bit here and there over the years. I thought "Cool! I saved two bucks from coupons."

Well, little did I know about "couponing" and the coupon world.

A few weeks ago, I went to Albertsons with my sister-in-law. I just thought she was shopping for a few things here and there. I thought she had to grab a few things before we headed to a family function. She kept looking from her shopping list to the merchandise on the shelf, back and forth, back and forth. So I asked her, "What are you doing?" she then told me about how she was learning from one of her friends about these amazing coupon deals, and websites and stuff. I was like okay cool, cool. I didn't think much of it... till she got to the cashier.

She handed the cashier some coupons, then was told the total.

"What?!" I said to myself.

She got $30.00 of groceries for like $2.28

Who would pass that up? I know I wouldn't! So I asked her about the websites and how to get started. Luckily Justin and I had bought a daily newspaper cause coupons do come in the papers. Especially on Sunday!

So I decided to start being part of the coupon women of sorts and save some money for our family. I figure I can do this during the day when jack is sleeping or occupied by toys or other sorts, and make "money by saving money."

There is so much to learn though. Oh you wouldn't think so by the sound of it, but man! There are so many techniques its almost bothersome. I haven't got the handle on it quite yet, but I'm saving a little bit at a time until I get how it works.

It may not sound like much, but it works! Don't take my word for it. Try it yourself by going to hip2save.com, http://savvyshopperdeals.com/ or http://grocerysmarts.com/utah/lists/splashg84rcm.php

There are coupons from everything point of the spectrum from clothing, make-up, baby items, household items, food, yard, anything you can think of there are coupons and deals for.

It may take some time to get used to the sites, and the jargon but I think its well worth it for stay at home moms that want to save some $$$ on food and home goods, and spend it else where, or SAVE IT!

Muddy Yard + Baby = ...

Yesterday, we were finally able to get out in the yard and work on the sprinklers a little more. It was an awesome day to work outside. It was warm and sunny, with not a cloud in the sky.

So... One by one we checked each valve, each sprinkler section, and each sprinkler head to make sure everything would work as it should before we put in our grass.

Well its started out nice, then the surprises came.

Water came seeping out of the dirt in some spots, which revealed broken pipes. In one section of the yard, a pipe came bursting from the ground, shooting up water a few feet from the ground. (we still can't find the other end of the pipe it broke off.)

Cracked sprinkler heads pushing dirt forcefully in different directions.

Many holes were made to fix these problems. Which brings us to our curious and helpful son.

Jack was so intent on watching his dad dig these holes, play with pipes and gadgets and tools, that he just had to join in and help in any way he could.

So he ventured out for a hole he could crawl in, and started touching and playing with the pipes he could find inside the holes he would crawl into. Of course there were inches of water inside each hole, which then made mud... well you get it.

Jack would randomly find his father, see what he was up to, then go about doing his own thing again.

This is the cutest part! When ever he would climb out of a hole, his butt would get muddier and muddier. I just couldn't resist letting him climb around.

This was his favorite hole. He kept climbing in and out and in and out of this hole.
Dirty hands, feet, legs, and bum.
These are the times when you need to make sure you have a camera on hand. The cutest pictures come from the dirtiest or wrong things that they do. This act was on the good side, but its others like getting into the bathroom and taking all the toilet paper off the roll, or drawing a picture on the wall for you. Its things like that I think I will one day miss. When the grow older its more extravagant things like driving or dating or fighting that you have to worry about. I" would choose toilet paper and drawing on the wall over those other things any day. I remember those days and am not looking forward to that happening when my kids reach that age. Just take these silly moments with you little ones as they come, because I'm pretty positive there will be worse things to come.
Note to self:
His adventures have only just begun, so let him explore the world and experience all his adventures with them while you still can. Don't take it for granted.

The Adventures continue...

Just a few moments in our happy lives while we have been away from our blog.

We will try to keep everyone posted more frequently.

Jack and mommy playing at home one day after a trip to the park.

Jack decided to play in his toy box with his toys, rather than

get them out to play with them. Kids do the cutest things don't they?

This was his preference of lounging one day.

He wouldn't sit down any other way, so figured... "If he will stay still sitting

like this for a little while, then why not?"

Cheese!



Hanging out at the pool with Uncle Hunter. Its a good thing he likes to swim,
cause now we have an excuse to go to Grandpa and Grammie's.

Our New Home!

This past week we have started putting in plants and flowers in the front yard. As you can see, we don't have grass in yet, but that doesn't seem to stop Jack from playing in his huge yard of dirt, weeds and lots of bugs. He has also on occasion plays with the water hose, which ends up with muddy and messy baby.

Our porch! Its perfect for when it rains! We sit on our chairs under our big porch and watch the weather work its magic.

We are in the process of putting in sprinklers and grass, so every night Justin gets home from work, he marches out to our .26 acre and does all the work he can before it gets dark. It may not sound like a lot of land, but when you start from scratch and do it all your self, it feels like it will never end. We love it though! Having the big yard is a major plus in our eyes.

Our Tree..

A front view of our house. Its in a culdesac, no homes behind us and the room for more babies to complete our family. We plan on staying here for a long time.

Thank you for all the support and the help we got from family and friends during this major change for Justin, Jackson and I.

Finished Floor!

The finished project! The floor is a beautiful mix of rich colors. It makes our home feel so much more cozy. I wasn't able to get the best pictures, but that just means you will have to come over sometime and see it for yourself.

Its almost finished..

Justin finishing up the last part in the kitchen. Only a

little bit longer.

The new floor is being put in, and even though it wasn't finished

you can already see the difference.

Jack, Uncle Waylon and Uncle Sterling taking out the last

of the old floor.

Here are my boys ripping up the floor, getting it prepped to put in the new floor.

Jack always loves to help in any way possible.

The first major project we decided to do to the house was the kitchen/dining room floor. I know this post is a bit backwards but so can tearing a house apart. So join in the fun. This is our dining room before we did anything to it... plain white from floor to ceiling.

At the tip of our fingers!

Justin and I finally closed on our house May 1st! But it doesn't end there. The sellers couldn't close till the next Friday, so the mortgage company had to update some papers about the move in date, since we haven't been able to move in yet. Our most recent update is that the mortgage company needs to fund and record and then we are free to move in and call it our home. With out any more complications, we will be able to move into our house on Wednesday.
Maybe soon I will be able to relax and not have to worry about so many things any more. Buying a house is one of the most stressful things Justin and I have had to go through since we have been married. Its even harder than having a baby, then paying for it! I just wish that soon I will be able to move on from this, and start enjoying other things that life has to offer.
Take Jackson for instance. He is all over the place. Running around, wanting to go outside as much as possible and watching the birds, and the other kids in the neighborhood. He is talking so much more as well, and even if no one can understand all that he is trying to say, and least he is trying. I can understand to gist of what he says but so much of it sounds so alike, that I have to think for a second. We love him so much, and cant wait for what he will do next.
One thing that I can do with the time I have that's not being taken up by the house, is my house. There is so much potential in our home that, we can't wait to start all our our projects. One being the yard. When we bought the house, it hadn't been lived in for almost a year, so the yard does need all the TLC it can get. We are also going to fix up the inside as well. The kitchen is next on the list, but we will talk about that when we get to that project.
Oh... and one more thing I would like to do is rest!! I have been so beat up the past few months since the house hunt began, that I need to rejuvenated and take a breather. Can't forget that!
We will post pictures when we can and let you take part in our grand adventure! Till then.. -------------Take it one at a time.

In Loving Memories of Alexis and Amanda Johnson

(Left to right)

Analise, Joel,Amanda,Nikki,Alyssa,Adam,Abby,Alexis

In Loving Memory Of

Alexis Johnson

&

Amanda Johnson

This Family has been like a second family to me, so to hear the news of these two girls whose spirits are as beautiful as their faces, was a shock my body could not believe.

This morning their family, excluding Abby, the oldest, was on their way to Lake Havasue. When a tragic car accident occurred. Daddy Joel, Alyssa and Analise were not hurt. Adam got a gash in his head and had to get staples. Mommy Nikki broke a vertebrae in her spine, but she is still able to move her legs. That is a very good sign that she will not be paralyzed. But tragically, Alexis and Amanda were ejected, and soon after died. Fortunately they did not feel much pain, and they were able to pass away with little pain.

Thankfully they were able to return back to their Heavenly Father, watching over their family and loved ones. With the promises that they and their family made, they will one day see each other again, and be a whole family once again.

I am thankful for the knowledge I have of the gospel, and of eternal families. Even though I can not express how their family is feeling now, I know that Joel and Nikki will be able to see their daughters again. That Abby, Alyssa, Adam, and Analise will be able to see their sisters again.

By knowing that, I am able to stop from crying every now and then. It is still so painful to realize that Alexis and Amanda will not be here on Earth anymore, and I never got to say goodbye, but it helps me get through this rough time we all have to deal with.

Alexis (left) Amanda (right)

Even if you didn't know them, all you have to do is look at the pictures and you will be able to feel the amazing spirits these two had. Fun, energetic, loving, and crazy.

Amanda

Alexis

Alexis

Amanda

Amanda (right) Alexis (left)


Smart, Talented, Funny, Passionate, Role-Models, Beautiful, Free Spirited,

Loving, Loved, Caring, Full of Light... etc.

There are so many ways to describe them, that my mind is too full to remember all the ways that they have impacted me and my family.

When we were younger, our families would do everything together. Holidays, birthdays, random BBQs, and lots and lots of babysitting. I babysat these girls so many times, that some times I would feel like I'm at their house more than my own. They are like my sisters. So in a way i have lost to important parts of my family. I feel bad, that the past few years got away from us, and we weren't able to see each other as much as I would like. I still have those fond memories of them growing up, and that's why I am able to cry tears of sadness, and tears of joy.

Amanda and Alexis were loved by so many people, family and friends.

Our prayer are with them and the Johnson family. Please pray for them, that might get the support that they deserve and so desperately need at this tragic time in their lives.

We Love You Alexis and Amanda! Whether your here on earth or in heaven.

you have touched our lives in more ways than you know.

Sisterly Love

My baby sister, Tabitha. We were on our way to see a movie. We saw "Push." It was a really good movie if anyone was looking for an opinion. We do a lot of stuff together. I have another sister somewhere. She is in her own little world at the moment but hopefully we can get her on here soon and complete the picture. A sisterly bond is almost impossible to break, which is a wonderful thing to know. You always have someone to lean on. No matter the situation. I love you tabi and Nic. Always remember that... Love your big sis.

To make things a little more accurate, I must retract this post. We have been trying to buy this house since December 17, 2008 and found out on February 6, 2009 that we were not getting anywhere with it. We have done everything in our power to make this as accurate, as smooth,
and in a timely matter, that we couldn't do anything else but wait..... and wait..... and wait! So Justin and I decide that We needed a Plan B. ..... Start looking for a new house. That is exactly what we did.

Our First Attempt:



Our cute little home! Well sort of.. Justin and I are in escrow. Its just the right size for our little family and has just enough room to grow. Its the perfect starter home. Three bedrooms, two bath, two car garage and a private park just in front of our house. I know we can't call it ours yet, but its just nice to know that we are actually going through this though. Some have told me that buying a house is the most stressful, scariest, most expensive decision of our life, but personally I think its a child. Im still young and haven't been through it all so what do I know...

January California Vacation

Zuma Beach

Grammie found a star fish...

It was so windy, so we bundled up to stay warm

He tried walking on the sand but it was too soft... nothing could stop him from trying though

Jack and I went to his great great grandpas 100th birthday party

We found a small cave at Zuma

The girls in the car on our way to California

And The Adventures Begin!

Jack and I were at Grammie's and Grandpa's House on friday and started playing around with his toys. Grammie picked up jack and gave him his little lawn mover and started walking with him. Once she started showing him what to do, He just started doing by himself. Now that Grammie showed jack the way, he has not stopped pushing the lawn mover around. Wow! times flys, but were having fun!

This journey of Jack growing up, reminds me so much of the movie "Forrest Gump." At the beginning when Forrest is being chased by a bunch of kids. "Run Forrest! Run!" He starts out running kind of ackward and low but then gets the hang of things and just pulls it off like a pro. Jack is like Forrest Gump... :) Doesn't get quite what to do, but when he figures it out there is no stopping him. This is just the beginning kids!!

Christmas at the Huffman's

We had Christmas this year at Justin's parents house, but we couldn't stay away from "The Huffman Bunch" so we drove over to their house Christmas morning, but it didn't take long for Jack to fall asleep in the car. Wow does fun take a toll on you, but i guess that means that he had a very eventful morning. Of course he is spoiled but his grandparents and aunts and uncles, and yes us too. So this year he got 2 Christmas's.

As soon as we walked in the door of Grammie and Grandpas house Jack saw this huge pile of wrapping paper and tissue and just had to play in it.

Justin also had a very eventful Christmas Eve and Christmas morning so the second he was able to rest for a bit, his eyes closed and "dreams of sugar plums danced in his head."

And of course Jack has to go around and give cuddles to everyone he comes in contact with, and it looks like waylon was the first in line.

Opening his presents from grandpa... He's a Grandpas boy on both sides of the family

Christmas at the Gillette's

Christmas morning was here! Santa had come and had ate his cookies and milk, and the reindeer ate the lettuce that cousin hunter had left out for them. Under the tree was filled with presents from friends and loved ones. The stocking were spilling out. This was the year that all the cousins were together, so short supply of excited and joyful children wasn't the case this year. Although the morning was joyous and full of thankfulness was finally here, it took a little longer for the adults to wake up. I love this Christmas season because of the time you get to share with your family and loved ones. There is something about waking up to a full house that just brightens my day. We had a lot of fun opening the presents and enjoying a big hot breakfast around the table. Many memories were made.

Jack and his Daddy Christmas morning

All the cousins together for Chrismas this year was a sweet treat. The kids were excited about their presents and can't wait to see what is inside the next box. Hunter was so helpful with Jack and Gage opening their presents.

Grandma with the Grandkids
Jacks little lawn mower... I think this was his favorite this year

Grandpa helping Jack open his presents.. Yep he's a Grandpas boy

Jack is starting to get the hang of opening his presents by himself

This was an icicle in front of our house that was growing off of the christmas lights..

Can see you how it has created a hand?