Venting... I know its horrible!

Okay.

I know everyone has there moments and just need to rethink things for a minute, but why does it have to happen so fast. I mean yesterday I was fine. There are always set back each day that we all have each day (big or small), and we just have to learn to deal with them or try to overcome it. Well, today is the day where I just need to vent.
With life there are blessings, consequences, trials and happy times. This is what makes the world go round. But there has to be a way of curing the "blues" so to speak. I love being a wife and a mom. There's no buts about it. I guess having a baby this young does take its toll sometimes.
You go from only thinking about yourself and how you look or what your plans are day after day, trying to keep you life as busy and exciting as possible. Then Surprise! Honeymoon baby! I guess i have myself to blame for it because I was so naive about the whole birth control thing, and having my parents tell me to get on birth control like a month after getting married. Seems backwards doesn't it. I'm the first kid, I guess they forgot that little detail. I'm not blaming them though, don't get me wrong. I guess I'm just saying that everything was just a little rushed.
Jack is now nineteen months old and I don't know what I would do without him. I love him so much. I just wish I was ready for him. Sometimes I get so frustrated with the crying for no reason, or hitting and throwing everything just to see if he can get a reaction out of me. Hurting the poor dog to where she doesn't like to go around him any more. Lots of little things I suppose, but it adds up day after day. I just wish i was ready and more able to cope with the things that I'm faced with. I feel so bad when I feel like I'm blaming him for making me crazy that day. Its not his fault, he doesn't know any better.
Okay married women... For another stupid reason, Justin and I had an argument last night about money. Yes, yes I know money is a big issue. Where, how, why? All the questions come up when large amounts of money are planned on being spent. (These issues weren't the kind that you could just return the next day.) Any way, while we were arguing I just figured out why all the arguing happened. Not only with this topic, but with all topics we argued about. I don't quite know how to explain it, but its basically the exact opposite way you think an argument should be made. His way is talking, me not saying ANYTHING, and just listening till he's finished, then I say whatever I want. My way is... He starts talking then I get the gist of what hes saying, try to say a remark or correct something he may have said different than Ithought he said earlier.. yada yada yada... What I'm trying to say is that I just realized that the reason we have the fights in the first place, aren't because of what we are arguing about, its how we are arguing.
So.. next time you have a disagreement with your spouse, try to see if that's the reason it all happens. I figured it out with us, now its only a matter of breaking habits and trying to cope and create new ones. See! sometimes something good comes from something not so good.
I know God doesn't give you something he knows you can't handle. I know that somewhere inside me, I am able to move past this and care and love and teach Jack with all my heart and with compassion and patience.
That may not make any sense, but that's how it came out. My feelings and thoughts have not been able to work together for a while.
I guess the reason why I wrote this is to get some advice or tips or even thoughts about these topics. It helps when you know your not the only one who feels like there a bad mom or wife sometimes.

Thanks again for listening. See you next break down...